Needed urgently: helpful, self-less members in society
I watched with admiration recently as three brothers played the most critical roles during a funeral planning gathering in my community: one representing the government; the other chairing the meeting of the funeral planning team; the third keeping records of contributions. Their fourth and youngest brother was not in the meeting because he was busy elsewhere: also serving the community. The previous week, he had organised a road improvement on my sister’s request, which she needed to make it possible for trucks to deliver some materials she needed on her plot.
As I watched the three diligent brothers at work for the community good, I found myself wondering: how is it possible that there can be such generous, helpful and self-less people, all from one family? The answer hit me right away: Good parents. It was the way the boys were brought up. I knew because we grew up in the same neighbourhood. Their parents were not rich. The brothers were not necessarily the top students in their classes. But they were brought up by God-fearing parents who were consistently available and consistent in the way they brought up their children. Even the girls, both married, had good homes.
On my way to the shopping centre later that evening I passed by two shops, both owned by another good man who was my classmate in primary school. He had not made it to high school. But he was a successful businessman, by any standard. He owned a nice home. Drove a car. Stable marriage. Same thing with him: he was brought up by godly, consistent parents.
But look at us today! We have glorified wealth, scores, boarding schools (primary and secondary levels), high paying careers. And the benefit we are reaping? Drunks; get-rich-quick deal mongers; non-performers.
I could not help but think through my own performance as a parent. Tough reflections. My two girls are in their 30s. And true enough, it is those things that I had prioritised that now stood out in their profiles.
Well, if you are a young parent, I can assure you, through retrospective reflection, that upbringing counts for more that super intelligence, or great schools or top careers.
The Ashoka organisation (in which I am a fellow – https://www.ashoka.org/en/fellow/haron-wachira), has established through research has established that individuals endowed with empathy are the kind of change makers that the world needs, in a world characterised by a fast-paced developments, uncertainty and the kind of structures that make it possible for eight people in the entire world to collectively own as much wealth as the poorest half of the world’s population (http://www.independent.co.uk/news/business/world-richest-men-eight-oxfam-own-poorest-half-50-per-cent-bill-gates-warren-buffett-amancio-ortega-a7529741.html).
Empathy plays a crucial role in innovation, changemaking, and solving entrenched systemic problems. Good thing: empathy can be taught, and Ashoka has developed an entire curriculum and tools for teaching empathy in schools. Collaboratively between parenting and schooling, we can, hopefully increase the percentage of leaders and workers endowed with this important capacity; people who the ability to understand what other people are feeling and who will contribute by serving, solving problems, leading effectively, driving change in communities.
Haron Wachira 